Bride Money, Engagement & Valediction

Question:

What the scholars say about this subject that:

1) Is it permissible to set the amount of Bride Money (Maher) against the willing of woman and is it permissible for man to give less bride money in spite of being wealthy?

2) After engagement or particularly after marriage is it permissible for man to delay the valediction for years as this hurt the wife?

3) Is this compulsory (wajib) on a man to give the expenditure of his wife before valediction?

Answer:

(1) Dowry or (bride money) is the right of woman and to set it against her willing is not permissible. Allah says in Surah Nisa– فمااستمتعتم بہ منھن فاتوھنّ اُجورھنّ فریضۃ To those women whom you wish to marry, give them their fixed dowries (mehar). (Ayat 24).

And it is permissible from man side to fix less bride money (dowry) in spite of being capable or wealthy, but amount should not be less than the value of ten dirhams. Aka Kareem peace be upon him states- لا مہر اقلّ من عشرۃ “There is no dowry (bride money maher) of less than ten dirhams” (Al Hidayah, Baab Al Mahar).

It is mention in Fatawa Alamgiri – اقل المھرعشرۃ دراھم ‘The minimum or least amount of dowry is ten dirhams’ (vol 1,page 283). Presently ten dirhams is equal to approx30 grams (2 tolay sadey saat masha) of silver or its worth.

(2) It is shar’an not permissible for man to delay the valediction of his wife without any valid reason when his wife wants to reside with him. It is obligatory for man to keep her along with him. Allah says – واسکنوھن من حیث سکنتم۔ Make the women to dwell where you yourselves dwell. (Para28 Al Talaq.Ayat 6)

And also instructed not to harm them and not to straiten. ولاتضاروھن لتنضیقواعلیھن And do not harm them so as to straiten them. (Para28 Al Talaq.Ayat 6)

And similarly after engagement doing delay in marriage without reason is not correct ,it is mandatory for guardians of a girl to marry her as soon they find suiter for a girl. Prophet Mohammad peace be upon him stated to Hazrat Ali- یا علی!لاتؤخرثلثۃ الصلٰوۃ اذاحانت والجنازۃ اذاحضرت والایم اذاوجدت لھاکفوا .O Ali!do not delay in three things, in namaz when its time comes, in funeral and in the marriage of unmarried girl,when find suiter . (Al Sunnan Al Akbari Al Beyhki bab Al aytabarul kaffa ,vol 7 page-133)

And if the delay is from boy’s side without any reason than also it is not permissible ,as it is mentioned in Hadees from Bukhari and Muslim Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) has stated – یامعشرالشباب من استطاع منکم الباء فلیتزوج . O community! The young amongst you who are capable of bride money (mahr) and marriage should certainly do marriage (Mutafiq alayh,kama fi fatawa Amjadiya,Kitabul Nikah,vol3 ,page 15)

(3)The expenditure of wife is compulsory on man after the valediction . As it is mentioned in Waqaarul Fatawi – Expenditure (of wife) is compulsory on man after the valediction of bride, until no valediction take place till then to give expenditure(of wife) is not compulsory(wajib) on man . (Kitabul Huqooq,Jild 3,safah 249) Allah Knows Best

By Mufti Haider Ali Qadri Sahab

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